Why am I scrolling Linked In and Instagram when I’m supposed to be working on my marketing plan?
Am I just too lazy to get it done? Or am I not competent enough to do it?
Maybe I’ll schedule time to do it tomorrow morning when I’ve got a fresh mind.
Does this sound familiar to you I wonder (substitute marketing plan for anything you’re not getting done)? It’s me having a little chat with myself, it’s my internal dialogue (often my inner critic), which if I’m not careful could spiral into a real beating myself up fest.
We all have the to do list in work, and more broadly in our lives, often in that list of things there are certain items that never quite get done. You know the ones …. we want to do it but somehow it just doesn’t happen, sometimes it’s the boring stuff we put off but more likely it’s the things we feel are too difficult for some reason.
We procrastinate and prevaricate – we delay action
There are a few common reasons that cause us to procrastinate. Maybe we’re tired and/or hungry so our brain is not working well. Maybe we’re just feeling overwhelmed, so our ability to think clearly is impaired. Or maybe we’re actually afraid.
Sometimes it’s hard to tease out what’s happening but we feel stuck.
We come up with all sorts of ‘excuses’ as to why we haven’t done something. Lack of time is the most common one. Sometimes my clients ‘didn’t have time’ to do that thing we talked about in the previous coaching session. However when we really dig into it, it’s not about lack of time – it’s about fear and other uncomfortable emotions that we don’t want to feel but we are experiencing.
So why was I procrastinating about my marketing plan? I was scared that it wasn’t going to be good enough, after all I’m a coach not a marketeer. What if it didn’t produce the results I was looking for?
I might get it wrong
We stop doing things and making decisions that will move us forward for fear of getting it wrong. But think about it like this – most decisions are not life threatening, a few may be life changing but when you really think about it not very many. If you don’t make a decision, do something, you will remain stuck, you will not move forward.
So here’s what I’ve learned to do to help me overcome this procrastination and avoidance. Imagine yourself doing it, then allow yourself to feel the emotions connected to it, no matter how scary, what are those feelings?
We avoid these sort of difficult feelings, it’s all too uncomfortable. But this shapes what happens in our life. We need to recognise and then understand what it is that we don’t want to feel. Then, let ourselves feel it. We can then decide that it is ok to feel that and that it doesn’t actually need to stop us. And you know what if we let ourselves feel it for a few moments it usually passes.
I often recommend writing to my clients. It’s a way of helping us to experience and explore our feelings. Just scribble whatever is coming into your head as you sit thinking about the situation you are avoiding. Let the feelings flow out of your pen onto the paper and keep on writing, it doesn’t need to make sense, it’s just a way to experience it. You can always just tear up the piece of paper afterwards, no one else needs to see it. You are not writing it for a blog post! (That’s way more difficult and brings up all sorts of fear for me 😊)
We don’t need to avoid our feelings or only allow ourselves to experience the positive feelings.
We are human we have a whole range of emotions – it’s normal.
So next time you find yourself stuck, procrastinating and prevaricating. Try asking yourself –
- What am I feeling right now? Then reassure yourself it’s ok to feel how you feel
- What do I know about this situation? Rather than what don’t I know.
- What’s the worst case scenario? What’s the best case scenario? What’s a realistic outcome?
- What do I know in my heart?
- What’s my instinct telling me?
Now make a decision on your next action, do it and take a small step forward. Every time we actually do something, rather than remain stuck, we get some sort of feedback – how someone reacts, what happens next, how we feel – and that will help us with the next steps.
If you would like more help on this topic please do get in touch with me. Book a no obligation meeting to see how we might work together.
If you’d like to hear more from me subscribe to Lisa’s Latest – Helping Women Leaders Achieve Their Full Potential.