The mental load is the burden of remembering, and usually also doing, all those tasks required to keep a household ticking over. In many cases this is shouldered by the woman of the house.

This is often invisible work because no one really sees it, but it is constant, time consuming and exhausting. We do thousands of tiny tasks without anyone noticing at all. Stop things falling through the cracks

Through years and years of social conditioning, women have been taught that their primary role in society is that of the caregiver, and that career and self are secondary. Conversely, men have been socially conditioned to view their role as one of provider and breadwinner. I do see this starting to change but very slowly, our conditioning runs deep.

This mental load, that so many women carry, goes beyond doing everything, it’s about remembering everything – what a burden! Often we don’t realise we are even carrying this mental load. We saw our mums doing it, we see other mums doing it and we feel a huge pressure towards perfectionism, feeling that we’ve failed if we don’t do it all. We are conditioned to help others, we don’t like to say no and can feel reluctant to delegate. We want the best for everyone and we want to look after them.

A key point at which I see an increase in the mental load is on returning to work following maternity leave. When baby comes along and mum stays at home, for sometimes up to a year, the way you run the household is different from before. Then when you go back to work you still carry the load from when you were at home full-time, maybe reallocating tasks between you and your partner, but still somehow carrying that mental load. It seems that the majority of women also feel that it is their responsibility to stay on top of their children’s activities. We take on the CEO role of our family.

We’re thinking, planning and organising. It’s often invisible work.

What I often see as a result of this mental load are worn out, angry and stressed mothers, who spend time berating themselves for not doing better! Women who are not achieving their full potential in their career because they feel overloaded by what they do at home.

Enough! Let’s stop this.